Our BUV is a Culturally and Linguistically Diverse (CALD) union of churches. As we consider how we create safe spaces for those who are victims of Family Violence, we need to give special consideration to other cultures where particular customs and attitudes to women create environments of abuse.
The story below is by Dr Ree Bodde from ‘Think Prevent’ the Victorian Anglican initiative to combat and prevent Family Violence. Think Prevent is committed to being an active bystander against discrimination, sexism, sexual abuse and violence whether at home, on the sports field, at work, in houses of worship or out with friends, family, colleagues or workmates. You can learn more and find some great resources from Think Prevent here.
A Dinka (Southern Sudanese ethnic group) riddle poses that “If you were crossing a river with your cow and wife and there is danger of drowning and you can save only one of them, which one would you save? The answer is “that you save the cow because with it you can marry another woman.”
The practice of dowry (bride price) though seldom discussed, flourishes across certain cultures in Victoria and elsewhere in Australia. Dowry related abuse toward women and children is a problem that has existed for some time. Recently, law makers and practitioners have begun tackling this social problem impacting families and communities.
A Sudanese faith leader recently explained to me the logic that informs dowry “a daughter has been brought up by her family and is their source of income. The only property parents have is their daughter. You give away your daughter for dowry and then you are financially set,” he said.
Another spoke of a direct connection between dowry and domestic abuse. “In paying for dowry,” he said, “a wife is the husbands property and can beat her for not being good at chores, for answering back, asking for financial support.” He added, “wives under the dowry custom become a slave to the husband’s family, so that even if the husband dies, the wife cannot remarry without the consent of the husband’s family. "
In a visit to a South East Melbourne faith community earlier in the year, I was shocked and profoundly saddened to learn that 3 women had been murdered as a result of dowry-related violence over the last 5 years.
Some men’s willingness to break the silence about dowry-related abuse against women and girls is significant as it embodies the fundamental recognition that it is a problem overwhelmingly for which men are responsible.
Men have a moral obligation to change attitudes and behaviours that are negative towards women and girls. Specifically, that females are property and, replace these with norms of respect and equality.
While some men are part of the problem, all men are part of the solution.
Dowry and the ownership of women by men is not unique to South Sudanese culture. Indian women face similar issues, where this is common practice and where women and girls are vulnerable to culturally sanctioned exploitation and abuse. See recent media here
For help or information regarding domestic violence, call the Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800 737 732, or visit 1800respect.org.au
Lifeline: 13 11 14 www.lifeline.org.au
White Ribbon www.whiteribbon.org.au
Source: BUV News