Category Archives: Sexuality

Articles, Education, Prophecy, Sexuality, Teaching

The Seventh Commandment – Part 02: Adultery & The New Testament

 

Last time we began to look at the Seventh of Ten Commandments found in Exodus 20: You shall not commit adultery. Put more positively, you shall pursue sexual and moral purity. The sins of fornication and adultery are not merely physical acts, they can be metaphors for idolatry and the worship of false gods. Human sexuality is very powerful and handled properly is of benefit to the community and beyond; mishandled and it courts disaster.

Let’s look at it now from a New Testament perspective.

NEW TESTAMENT PERSPECTIVE

Since Jesus Christ and the New Testament are full of ‘grace and truth,’ you might expect that it would be less severe regarding adultery than the Old Testament. After all, His opponents brought to Him a woman caught in the very act of adultery. They reminded the Lord that Moses commanded that adulterers should be stoned … but what do You say? (Of interest, why was the woman brought for execution and not the man? – John 8:5). Christ’s sterling reply? Whoever is sinless among you can cast the first stone at her (v.7). They all departed without one stone being thrown. The Lord sent the woman away in peace after giving her these final words: Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more(v. 11).

The fact is the New Testament condemns adultery in no uncertain terms, and even broadens to net. Jesus makes these comments straight out of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:27-32 (ESV):

You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

 

31 “It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

 

These standards make the Old Testament look simple. Some may feel uncomfortable at this point. Relax. The New Testament is still full of ‘grace and truth.’

Let’s unpack this passage.

•   In the heart (5:27): There is a persistent but deceptive thought that if you ‘fool around’ with another person but stop short of physical intercourse, then you are safe from the sins of fornication and/or adultery. According to Jesus, this is not the case at all. Merely looking at a person with ‘lustful intent’ renders the person an adulterer, even if they are ‘hands off.’


•   Jimmy Carter: Jimmy Carter ran for President of the United States in 1976 under the banner of being a ‘born again’ Christian. Indeed, he was the reason it became a household term. A dedicated and pious Southern Baptist, Sunday school teacher, husband to Rosalynn and father of four, Carter was the model evangelical Christian candidate. Yet, his innocent and honest comments in an interview with Playboy Magazine made instant headlines. What did he say? ‘I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.’[1]If such an upstanding individual confesses such things, where does that leave the rest?

 

•   Lustful intent: So as to prevent needless anxiety, make sure you discern the difference between temporary fleeting lustful thoughts versus those which are focused, intent, and all-too-regular. Martin Luther (1483-1546) said it so well: ‘You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair’[2] In our sex-saturated society, with sensuous imagery easily accessible, people need the grace of God to prevent the ‘bird’s nest.’

 

•   Practical Application Though there is only limited space, remember the antidote to lustful thoughts begins with the advice of Romans 12:1-2: Give your body as a living sacrifice and your mind for renewal. The toolbox for the overcomer includes the following:

 

•   1. The cross of Christ (Galatians 6:14),

 

•   2. God’s Word hidden in your heart (Psalm 119:11),

 

•   3. Name of Jesus (Philippians 2:9-11),

 

•   4. Prayer and praise in the Holy Spirit (Jude 20),

•   5. If you are really keen to overcome, try fasting – it really works (but make sure you are healthy enough to do it).

•   Other Practical Tips: May we suggest some more? Get off the pornography (ask for help, if necessary), don’t allow yourself in a compromising situation (read about the hapless young man in Proverbs 7), and dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9; 1 Peter 3:2-3). Being offensive is not fair on others and can tempt a weak believer; furthermore, Scripture is not kind to those who are deliberately offensive in word, deed, or dress – Matthew 18:7).

Related to Jesus’ statements on adultery are involve divorce and remarriage, cutting off sinful body parts, etc. Our goal, to the best of our God-given ability, is to present an explanation that is Biblically faithful, balanced, practical, and compassionate. There is still ‘grace, truth, and love’ and we want to show the way forward.See you next month.

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

Photo courtesy of Adobe Stock.

 

Articles, Bible, Education, Prayer, Prophecy, Sexuality, Teaching

Issues Facing the Church: A Common Act No One Talks About Part 02

 

The Way Forward

Last month we looked at the topic no one talks about, yet is ever-common, called masturbation or self-stimulation (from now on referred to as SS). We looked at the topic from every angle. Yes, it is correct that the Bible does not explicitly mention the practice, so hence there is no blanket commendation or condemnation. It provides a temporary release of energy and there is no danger of catching sexually transmitted diseases.

 Yet, at the same time, we learned that SS is often, even mostly, motivated by lust, visual stimulation like pornography, or worse. It can happen even when the person had not planned for it, at awkward times, hence implying a lack of self-control. It is not an easy habit to quit. Another problem is that there can be a terrible sense of guilt, even though no one (but God) is watching. Along with the guilt is a puzzle: why do many married men practice SS?

Do you do SS or know someone who does? If so, it is up to you, and you alone, to decide whether you want to continue this practice. If you are of the conviction that this is not good for you? Are guilt and lust part of your experience? Despite its addictive side, do you want to break free?

Remember that human effort is normally not enough. After all, it’s not only your actions that have to change, but also your thinking. It must be a holistic effort. Lust in the heart has to be conquered in order to control your actions of your hands. Like in many things, we need God’s help. And, if necessary, confide in a trusted person who can pray and keep you accountable.

Martin Luther was credited with this quote: I can’t stop the birds from flying over my head, but I can keep them from nesting in my hair. Our world is sinful, seductive, and visually stimulating, ever-beckoning to its dark sensuous ways. Proverbs 7:26: For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.

The following Scriptural practices can help. They can help you overcome in this area, and in any area, which has control over your life. Seek pastoral or mature Christian advice. Some practical tips include:

1.       The Word: Psalm 119:9,11: When you hide God’s word in your heart, you won’t sin against Him. Take a few of the many scripture promises, meditate, memorise, then confess them aloud before the Lord.

2.       The Cross of Jesus: Religion, good works, education, cannot overcome the lust-sin issue. Only the gospel of Christ, with the cross at its centre, can hit a death blow. Romans 6 is your declaration of independence from the sin dominated sex-saturated self-life. You are encouraged to focus on verses 6-14 especially. Again, read, meditate, memorise, and confess.

3.       The Holy Spirit: Be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18) and pray in the Spirit (Ephesians 6:18). The Holy Spirit is able to put to death the deeds and thoughts of the flesh, which includes lust (Romans 8:13). Remember the injunction of Jude 20 to build yourself up in your most holy faith by praying in the Holy Spirit. Prayer in the Spirit is powerful and edifying – while you are doing Spirit-prayer, it is virtually impossible to practice the bad habit you eagerly want to break.

4.       Quality Christian music: Listening to anointed music has a great effect on causing lusts to flee.

5.       Praise and worship: Again, if you know how to offer heartfelt praise to God, and you are in a place where others do the same, it also can keep the ‘birds of lust’ from nesting in your hair and head.

In overcoming habits and sins, one of the redemptive features is the more we work with God, His Word and Spirit, the stronger we will become. As Revelation 21:7 promises: He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.

 

 

Articles, Bible, Education, Prophecy, Sexuality, Teaching

Issues Facing the Church: A Common Act No One Talks About – Part 01

It is a most common practice that stretches back to millennia. Yet, when a high-profile television personality was caught doing it on Zoom – not realising the camera was still ‘On’ – he was sent home in disgrace to have some ‘personal time.’ Many people, including Christians, want to ask about this subject but are afraid to ask. How do we handle it from a Biblical perspective?

The ‘subject’ is masturbation, also known as ‘self-stimulation.’

Before we address the issue itself, be assured that it will be handled in a pastoral manner. The goal is to help, not hurt nor condemn, people along the way. No doubt, some who read this article are engaged, casually or regularly, in this practice.

It’s time to have a much needed chat. What are we to make of it?

First, by definition, masturbation (from now on referred to as SS – ‘self-stimulation’) is ‘stimulation of the genitals by hand for sexual pleasure,’ in order to reach a climax – ejaculation or orgasm – without the involvement of their spouse or partner. It is a form of solo-sex. It is mostly done by men but woman can do it, too.

What do we know about this practice? It is a very widespread, involving young and old, single and married, Christian and non-Christian. The fact that people are delaying marriage in our sex-saturated popular culture – with plenty of visuals – means that SS is being done at record levels. With 2020 Covid-19 lockdowns, one can imagine that possibilities.

SS provides a quick and easy ‘release’ if one is feeling aroused but does not have a sexual partner available. It is even considered ‘safe-sex:’ you cannot get someone pregnant or contract STDs (sexually-transmitted diseases) by SS. Furthermore, on the surface, it appears that the Bible is silent about it.

The one Bible story that seems to refer to it involves Onan and Tamar in Genesis 38:9. His older brother, Er, who married to Tamar first, was so wickedness that the Lord slew him. As was the prevailing custom at the time, when a man died childless, his brother married the widow and the first child born was dedicated to the deceased. It is called Levirate marriage and described in more detail in Deuteronomy 25:5-10. It was a form of familial social welfare. Onan did not want to ‘do his duty’ so he spilt his seed en route to Tamar. As a result, the Lord slew him, too — Genesis 38:10.

In times gone by, preachers used this story to scare the daylights out of people if they practiced SS – or even contemplated doing so. Some referred to SS as ‘onanism.’

Yet, in all honesty, the reason Onan was judged was his failure to fulfil the mandate.

Does this mean that it is okay to practice SS? Let us consider the following:

1.       Human sexuality, as the Bible and particularly the New Testament teaches, is an expression of physical love to our spouse. The command that husbands ‘love their wives’ (Ephesians 5:25; Colossians 3:19) includes all areas of being: mental, spiritually, emotional, and physical. The idea is that the couple seeks to fulfil each others sexual needs, not just their own.

2.       On the surface, SS seems similar to sexual intercourse but is actually very different. It strives to fulfil one’s own need without any reference to another. The accent mark of SS is ‘self.’ We are made in the image of God, Who loves and seeks the welfare of the ones He love. With SS, love has nothing to do with it; it is a self-centred mechanical solo act.

3.       Unfortunately, SS often involves lust, either mentally or in visual form like pornography. The Sermon on the Mount teaches that lusting after someone, who is not your spouse, is the same as if they committed the illicit physical sexual act, be it adultery or fornication — Matthew 5:27-28. Please consider.

4.       SS can be very addictive and a difficult habit to break. The more we feed the lust, the more it grows, and the more entrenched the habit becomes. It is the opposite of the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ which includes ‘self-control’ — Galatians 5:22. In other words, SS does not eliminate the lust problem; it exacerbates it.

5.       A sad by-product of SS is a feeling of guilt after the climax, something that doesn’t happen with Biblically ordained sex. The person knows that something is wrong, even if they don’t know why.

6.       Finally, there could come a time when SS is simply no longer satisfying, and the person reaches out for more. The danger is that it could lead to other sexual expressions that are condemned in Scripture, like 3D fornication or prostitution.

7.       In summary, the Bible does not directly talk about SS, but it does deal with lust, lack of self-control, and guilt. These factors make SS a troublesome proposition.

Sometimes, it is possible to have a ‘release’ without any touching and any lustful thoughts. These are called nocturnal emissions or ‘wet dreams.’

Human sexuality is a wonderful gift from Almighty God but it has to be on His terms, not ours. Think of it like electricity: handled correctly, it harnesses beneficial power. Mishandled, it can be deadly.

Now that we have spoken about the problem, in our next article, we will look at tips to lead us to a fulfilling solution. TO BE CONTINUED