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Patience: Key to the Promises of God Part 02 ‘The Patience of Job’


That you do not become sluggish but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises –
Hebrews 6:12

In our changing, trying times, the one thing we need above all else is divine patience; it can help you plough through the obstacles and keep going unto victory. More than that, it is a key to receiving the promises of God. Abraham had it, and so did Job – what about you?

In Part One we defined and described what is Biblical patience, based in part from James 5:7-11. You can read it for yourself at http://majdali.blogspot.com/2023/09/patience-key-to-unlocking-blessings-of.html

The paragon of patience was the patriarch Job. Few people have suffered as much as this man. He was exceedingly blessed by God and then tragedy hit on many fronts: in one calendar day, he lost his flocks, workers, and children. If that weren’t enough, he lost his health. His wife told him to let go of his integrity: just curse God and die. Fortunately for him and us, he did not listen to her. 

And there’s more: three friends came to ‘comfort’ him in such a manner that they made the situation much worse – bad enough that God rebuked them in the end. Then a young man named Elihu rebukes the older Job as having justified himself and not God. Yet, outspoken Elihu does not get divinely rebuked at all.

Finally, mercifully, God speaks to Job out of a whirlwind. He does not tell Job why He allowed all that suffering but because He is God, Sovereign of the universe, we are called to trust Him even when it makes no sense to the natural mind.

How did Job respond to God’s lengthy message? He returned to the fear of the Lord, committed himself to obedience, and repented in dust and ashes. In addition, he also prayed for his friends (42:10). 

What was the result of Job’s patience? In one word: restoration. His net worth was restored: The Lord caused his friends and extended family to come visit and they were compelled to give him money and jewels. His lost livestock was replaced by double the amount than before. 

His family was restored: Job had another ten children to replace the ones who were killed.

Job’s legacy was patient endurance that caused him to be blessed and restored more than ever. James 5:11 says God also was glorified as a merciful and compassionate to him.

Gems of Job

Like silver and gold tried in the fire, so was patient Job. Once the fire ceased, the silver and gold, now purified, remains and are enhanced. Job’s suffering and the book that bears his name have given us some great gems in the Word of God. These include:

Job 42:5-6: I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. 6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

The patience that was forged in the furnace of affliction afforded Job an audience with the Lord, which impacted him and others to our day. No doubt Job was humbled by this experience and such humility is a magnet to ever-increasing grace.

Job 19:25-26: For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: 26 And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:

What a great Messianic and eschatological statement! Job speaks of a divine redeemer who is coming to ‘stand at the latter day’ upon the earth. Job believed that if death preceded the redeemer’s appearance, and worms ate his body, he spoke with perfect faith that ‘in his flesh’ – namely, his resurrected body – he would see God. 

This is perhaps the earliest statement affirming the bodily resurrection of all humanity (Daniel 12:2). And as Paul clearly affirms in 1 Corinthians 15, if the dead do not rise, then Christ didn’t rise either (v. 13). Fortunately for us all, Christ did rise as the first fruits of many more to come. As a Biblical principle when you see the first fruits early in the harvest season, it is your guarantee that the resMesst of the harvest fruit is coming. A down payment is a putative assurance that the rest of the money is on the way.

Job 23:10: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

Speaking of ‘tried as gold,’ that was Job’s experience in summarized form. This verse tells us that if you want the gold, hold tight, be patient, trust God, and He will do the rest. It is a clarion call to patiently persevere or, as UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill told the nation during the Second World War: Never give up.

In Part 03, we will learn about the benefits of patience and how to acquire it in your life.

—TO BE CONTINUED

Zeal and Knowledge

The balanced Christian life:

What should believers major in: zeal or knowledge? If you know anything about me, you will know that I see this as a clear example of a false dilemma. That is, it is not to be a case of either/or but both/and. We should seek to have zeal AND we should seek to have knowledge. One without the other just does not cut it for the Christian.

Many believers have plenty of knowledge, but they lack any real zeal for God. Head knowledge alone without passion, and life, and the Spirit is not what God is looking for. But the other error is just as bad. Many believers have plenty of zeal, but they have little sound knowledge or understanding of biblical truth and doctrine. They in fact often play down knowledge altogether.

Cults of course thrive on the latter – members often have zeal and passion and commitment, but they are woefully ignorant of basic Bible teaching. They may be really off on doctrine, and will often be told they should not think for themselves, but just go along with whatever their leader tells them.

I know this from first-hand experience, having been in a cult myself long ago. We sure had lots of zeal, but we sure had a lot of dumb ideas as well. In my four-part article discussing my Christian conversion I wrote about some of these weird things we did and believed. As I wrote:

One, a bad interpretation of Scripture – specifically a passage like 2 Corinthians 5:7 which says “we walk by faith, not by sight” – led to some radical first steps. This text obviously meant we see by faith and walk in the Spirit, and need not worry about mere physical sight. So my first task was to take a hammer or a rock and smash my glasses to bits. That I promptly did, and I spent the next five months or so stumbling around the mountains of New Mexico, even getting lost once or twice.

 

You see I have long had terrible eyesight, so this certainly was jumping in the deep end on day one – a real step of faith indeed. But I was ready to do anything in my newfound faith, and so this seemed reasonable to me at the time.

 

Two, given the hippy/Indian/cult nature of this group, we often got back to nature in more ways than one – including running around with no clothes on, at least on our own land – which got us in trouble with the New Mexico police on more than one occasion, including stints in jail.

 

Related to this, we reminded folks that Galatians 5:16 tells us that we walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh. That was our explanation when asked why we walked around shoeless in the ice and snow for example. We had homemade looms and we did weaving which we learned from the Indians, so we made belts and related products, and sold them to outsiders to get a bit of cash.

 

In the winters we would go to fancy ski resorts in the nearby mountains where all these rich skiers and tourists would hang around at. We sold them our weavings, and they were amazed as we walked about barefoot up there in the snow-covered mountains. https://billmuehlenberg.com/2012/06/27/coming-home-my-testimony-part-2/

And there is more:

Thus our big problem was our way-out beliefs. The truth is, we all need the various giftings God has put in the church, and God has appointed teachers and pastors in the Body of Christ to properly instruct young believers. But we had none of that – no teachers, and certainly no commentaries or theology books or volumes on basic biblical hermeneutics.

 

All we had was the distorted views of our leader. And like so many cults, he made it clear that we were about the only true Christians around. Sure, we kept looking for others who believed like we did – but they were very few and far between indeed. As with all cults, we did not “rightly divide” the Word of God.

 

We took things literally where we shouldn’t have. Our main sticking point was the Second Commandment which warns about not making any graven images. We figured it meant what it said – or what we thought it said. We believed it meant no pictures of any kind – no art, no symbols, no illustrations, no photographs, no drawings, no images – zippo.

 

So if we got a can of beans from the supermarket (not buying it from inside, but claiming it from their trash outside, where we got most of our food), we immediately tore off the wrapping with those ghastly images! Once my parents sent me a nice Bible while I was there, thinking that with my new-found faith I would enjoy it.

 

But of course it had those horrendous images inside of it – maps and other pictures, which I ripped out and threw away immediately. So all images of any kind were taboo, and anyone who thought such images were OK was not a real Christian. So as you can imagine, there were not too many other believers around which we could get along with.

 

So in true cult fashion it was us against everyone else; all because we were misinterpreting Scripture on a pretty basic level. We were twisting Scripture, which is the clear mark of a cult, as is an authoritarian leader who demands full allegiance.

 

However there was one very good thing our leader often told us: he said we should always keep praying to know the truth. That we did, and it led to the downfall of the cult. https://billmuehlenberg.com/2012/06/27/coming-home-my-testimony-part-3/

Yep, this was cult city: zeal in abundance, but knowledge and understanding in rather short supply. It is not just cults that operate this way however. Think of a text such as Romans 10:1-4 where Paul says this about the Jews:

Brothers, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for them is that they may be saved. For I bear them witness that they have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. For, being ignorant of the righteousness of God, and seeking to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone who believes.

They had the zeal, but without proper knowledge and right understanding, it got them nowhere. They missed out on their long-awaited Messiah because of this – at least in good measure. How many others likewise suffer because of a zeal not corralled by intelligence, understanding and right thinking?

On interest, in my morning reading of Scripture, I came upon this from Exodus 31:1-5:

The Lord said to Moses, “See, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with ability and intelligence, with knowledge and all craftsmanship, to devise artistic designs, to work in gold, silver, and bronze, in cutting stones for setting, and in carving wood, to work in every craft.”

For this job – associated with building the tabernacle – God appointed an artisan with both zeal (filled with God’s Spirit) and knowledge. There was no question of just one or the other, but both. Let’s aim to get the biblical balance right. Let’s love and serve God with passion and zeal, but with knowledge and understanding as well.

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Description and Prescription

Not everything we read about in Scripture is meant to be copied!

There are various important principles of biblical interpretation. If we keep these in mind, we can avoid a world of trouble – and misunderstanding and misconstruing of the Word of God. Many are fairly basic and straightforward. Some of the key principles are these:

-Study every text in its context
-Compare Scripture with Scripture
-Study difficult passages in the light of those that are more clear

Many more can be mentioned of course, but simply observing there three will help you go a long way in rightly understanding Scripture and avoiding theological error. Another basic principle to keep in mind is the subject of this article.

Not everything described in the Bible is being prescribed. Just because we read about something happening in Scripture does not necessarily mean it is a template for all people for all time. This can be easily illustrated in a humorous fashion.

Some believers seem to seek guidance by closing their eyes, opening their Bible, and putting their finger down on a page, in the hopes that the text pointed to will give them the answer they are looking for. One well-known story makes clear just how foolish this is as a means of determining God’s will:

-A person using this method came up with Matthew 27:5: “Judas went out and hanged himself”.
-A bit troubled, he tried again, and got this: Luke 10:37: “go and do likewise”.
-Being really rattled, he tried one more time, only to get this: John 13:27: “and what thou doest, do quickly”!

The point is obvious. Just because we are told that someone did something in the Bible (like Judas hanging himself) does not mean we should follow suit. While I have written about this matter before, it always is worth revisiting. See this earlier piece for example: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2022/04/24/description-versus-prescription/

Test case: the Patriarchs

Since I am reading again in the Pentateuch, one can find plenty of examples simply by looking at the lives of the Patriarchs. So many things that we see them doing are decidedly NOT something we should emulate and take as an example. 

There are numerous things we could mention. I recently wrote a piece on burial versus cremation. I looked at some Old Testament passages, saying we need to decide what might be the best course. One person said this in a comment:

“I remember that Joseph asked for his bones to be carried back to Canaan Gen 50:25 when they returned to Canaan (nearly 400 years later, Exodus 13:19 ‘Moses took the bones of Joseph with him’), and before that his father, Jacob wanted his body buried with his fathers in Canaan Gen 47:30 so to me it means our bones are important or the place where we are buried is important.”

Yes, quite right: all the Patriarchs wanted to be buried in the same place: a cave of Machpelah. That is certainly descriptive. But whether it is to be prescriptive as well might be another matter. And we know that the Patriarchs also did various other things which we probably should not emulate. For example, they all had multiple wives.

They also heard directly from God, something which we may well not experience – at least not in the same way as they did. Also, they all left their homeland; they all quarrelled with their brothers; they all met their brides at a well.

And then the wives of the three Patriarchs, Sarah, Rebekah and Rachel were all infertile – yet God miraculously opened the wombs of all three. Believers today are not called to follow in their infertility – nor to expect a miraculous healing from it. Also, all three went down in the direction of Egypt, and so on.

But let me mention just one more issue, related to that last point. In at least the case of two of them (Abraham and Isaac), they had beautiful wives, were in a different land, and lied about their wives (saying they were not wives but sisters). In the case of Abraham, this was partly true, as Sarah was his half-sister.

The first case involves Abraham in Egypt. We read about this in Genesis 12:10-20. But he did this again! The second time this happened involved Abimelech. Genesis 20: 1-18 records this story. And Isaac ends up doing much the same as Genesis 26:6-11 discusses.

Once again, what is being described in these passages is not something we must also do. Most of us do not have ravishingly beautiful wives as these men had, and we generally are not travelling in another country where the leaders there want to get to know these women much better. Nor are to lie about it all, even if those other two conditions are met!

Common sense needed

But you get my drift. So much of the narratives portions of Scripture certainly involve lots of descriptive material. But not all of it is meant to be prescriptive. We can even talk about Jesus in this regard. Jesus was circumcised at the end of the eighth day – should we be too?

Jesus never married – should we therefore remain single as well? And Jesus died a horrible death on a cross – should we as well? Sure, we are to live a crucified life, in a spiritual sense. In that and other ways we are to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.

But much of this is just common sense – or hopefully it is. When one son of the Patriarchs, facing sexual temptation, fled out of the room (Joseph in Genesis 39) that is both descriptive and prescriptive. If we ever find ourselves in that sort of situation, we should do exactly the same thing! Get out of there real fast – don’t pray about it or meditate on it!

Many other obvious incidents can be mentioned, such as King Saul consulting the witch of Endor, King David committing adultery and murder, or King Solomon having 1000 wives and concubines, to name but a few. Here were folks that God used for his purposes, yet they all had their flaws – some worse than others.

We of course can emulate such figures when they did that which was right and pleasing to God. But not all that we read about when it comes to various biblical characters is meant to be something we are to do as well. Again, this should be a matter of common sense for us, but sometimes that is lacking in believers. Indeed, I know of one Christian who, appealing to Solomon and others, thinks polygamy is just fine!

So as you dally read your Bibles, use some God-given wisdom in deciding what is to be copied and mimicked and what is simply to be read – or at times, warned about and avoided!

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Keep Hope Alive: The Sky Has Not Yet Fallen

We have good reason to remain hopeful:

Some of you will recall a major theme of a book penned back in 1946: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It has to do with his experience as a prisoner in German concentration camps. He argued that those who had a sense of meaning and purpose – and thus hope – were better equipped to survive in these horrific camps.

Yes, hope is crucial. The Christian faith of course is built on hope. We know that as the world grows ever darker, God is still at work. The psalmist could put it this way:

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:11)

The writer to the Hebrews said this: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). Paul put it this way: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13). And we have the blessed hope: the promise of Christ’s return (Titus 2:13).

Hope is what keeps us going. But of course it is hope in Christ, not hope in ourselves or in our surroundings. As the popular song states, “Because he lives, I can face tomorrow.” And that is true even in our most difficult and desperate periods.

One key figure in recent times would have had reason to despair and give up hope. But he kept going, despite a shaky start. He went from the Marines to the White House to prison to a remarkable global Christian ministry. I refer to Chuck Colson (1931-2012). Those not familiar with his amazing story will find it discussed here: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2012/04/22/notable-christians-charles-colson/

Image of The Sky is Not Falling: Living Fearlessly in These Turbulent Times
The Sky is Not Falling: Living Fearlessly in These Turbulent Times by Colson, Charles (Author) Amazon logo

In this piece I want to quote from something he wrote over a dozen years ago. It is still well worth revisiting. The book is this: The Sky Is Not Falling (Worthy Publishing, 2011). It is a collection of his columns he had penned for Christianity Today over the years. But the Introduction is still of great value, so here I will present most of it. What follows then is what he wrote, almost in its entirety:

On all sides I hear battle-weary Christians talk about abandoning cultural engagement and tending our own backyard instead. Like other leaders in Christian ministries, I know the most effective fundraising is to screech that the sky is falling, but we should resist that temptation. We should inspire hope.

 

The most compelling reason for hope comes from looking beyond any current election at deeper, long-term historical trends. The twentieth century was the age of ideology, of the great “isms”: communism, socialism, nazism, liberalism, humanism, scientism. Everywhere, ideologues nursed visions of creating the ideal society by some utopian scheme. Whether by revolution or racial purity or scientific technology, these True Believers set out to build a modern Tower of Babel, reaching to the heavens (metaphorically, since most were aggressively secular).

 

The attitude was captured in the film Titanic, when a passenger glances proudly at the ship and declares, “Even God himself could not sink it.”

 

Other idols have sunk just as surely, if not as quickly. Nazism was forever disgraced by the horrors of its concentration camps. The Soviet Union crumbled with the Berlin Wall. Around the globe formerly socialist nations have eagerly lined up to establish free economies. Liberalism, while still powerful, has lost its luster: American politicians eschew the label. Even science often seems a Frankenstein’s monster turning on its creators.

 

This was the most significant fact at the end of the twentieth century: all the major ideological constructions had failed, tossed on the ash heap of history. For all were based on the same underlying theme: liberate the individual from the oppression of family, church, and local custom, and he would be autonomous and free. But today it is clear that weakening the marital bonds of family, church, and neighborhood does not lead to freedom but to alienation, loneliness, disorder, and crime – and even to the rise of the totalitarian state.

 

The dream of autonomy has turned into a nightmare of chaos and coercion. Today the tide is turning as Americans grow desperate for the security found in the moral bonds of family and community.

 

The only remaining “ism” is postmodernism, which is not an ideology but a repudiation of all ideologies. Its relativism is the admission that every attempt to construct a comprehensive, utopian worldview has failed. It is a formalized expression of despair.

 

Only one compelling claim to transcendent truth remains, one secure hope: Christianity. The church has stood unshaken through the ebb and flow of two millennia. It has survived both the barbarian invasions of the Middle Ages and the intellectual assaults of the modern era. Its solid walls rise up above the ruins littered across the intellectual landscape.

 

This moment, when the culture at large is facing the bankruptcy of its systems, is the worst possible time for Christians to despair. On the contrary, it is time for us to blow trumpets and fly the flag high. To desert the field of battle now would be historical blindness, betraying our heritage just when we have the greatest opportunity we may ever face. This is the time to make a compelling case that Christianity offers the only rational and realistic hope for both personal redemption and social renewal.

 

This is not a Pollyanna vision of our culture which ignores the depth of our cultural, governmental, economic, and ethical problems or pretends they are not real and serious. They are appallingly real and deadly serious. And if they are not checked, the sky will fall. Our culture will collapse as surely as that of ancient Israel when they turned away from the protective and life-sustaining principles of God. But collapse is far from inevitable because the church has in its purpose, worldview, ethos, and mission everything needed to turn culture around.

He concludes by saying that the church has the answers to the problems that beset us and surround us. His final sentences are these: “Never has it been more important for Christians to remain engaged in the task of cultural renewal—to stay at our posts. And if we are steadfast, we have no reason to fear that shards of the wild blue yonder will come crashing down on our heads.”

Of course if Colson were still around today, he would see that things have indeed gotten so much worse in so many ways – at least here in the West. But for him – and for us – that should be all the more reason to keep hope alive. As long as God sits on the throne (which will forever be the case), there is still hope.

While we work for cultural, social and political change, as part of our calling to be salt and light, there will always be setbacks and disappointments. But we must persevere. Colson certainly did. He could have abandoned all hope while languishing in prison after the Watergate affair.

But he did not. His new-found faith propelled him into full-time service for the Lord, and as a result millions of people around the world have been impacted by the man and his ministry. We need to seek to do the same, by God’s grace. So keep on going. The sky is not falling, and Christ still reigns.

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Cremation and the Christian

Should believers bury their dead only?

While many believers may never have given this a passing thought, some others might think quite a lot about it, and may even have some concerns about it, especially as they or their loved ones grow older. The issue is this: is it right for a Christian to be cremated upon death? Or is burial the only real option for the believer?

Some general things can first be said. Often for the believer and non-believer alike a main consideration is the price. Cremation is simply much cheaper than a burial. Poorer folks – including poorer Christians – may thus think twice about a burial if they know a much cheaper option is available.

But mere pragmatism alone is not the best way to resolve this matter. “What does Scripture say about this” is the first question the Christian should ask. And on this topic we have some descriptive texts, and perhaps a few prescriptive ones, but in the main, we do not have clear and direct biblical teaching on this.

Yes, burial has always been the norm for believers, but are there hard and fast biblical rules that tell us one way or another? An important and long standing theological and hermeneutical principle has to do with “things indifferent”. The term used is “adiaphora” – this has to do with those things which are neither sanctioned nor prohibited by Scripture. See more on that subject here: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2013/11/15/on-adiaphora/

That is, there is some room to move here, and we need not go to the wall over such matters. Certainly, the salvation of the believer is not at risk regardless of which way he proceeds on this. And there are plenty of questions we still have about the resurrection body.

Jesus was recognisable when he came back from the dead, as were some other biblical characters. But let’s say I die at age 100. Will my resurrection body take on the form of that 100-year-old? Or a 50-year-old? Or my current almost 71-year-old? How exactly we will appear in our resurrection body is not exactly clearcut from Scripture.

And plenty of people can be horribly disfigured in their death, say from explosions, fires, and so on. In some cases there may be no real bodily remains left at all to bury. Yet we know that these folks will have a new resurrection body, presumably complete and intact – and recognisable.

Sure, there are plenty of things that happen in life, often by accident, that we don’t go out of our way to emulate or imitate. But just in terms of imagery alone, the biblical notion of falling and rising, of death and resurrection, is nicely captured in being lowered into the earth, awaiting the return of Christ. That picture is not seen so readily in cremation.

Cremation, in terms of religious traditions, is much more routine in Hindu and Buddhist cultures. In those belief systems the body is seen as something to escape from, not celebrate. But in cultures where Judaism, Christianity and Islam dominate, burial is the main option. These faiths do have a much higher view of the human body – especially the Judeo-Christian tradition. Bodily resurrection is certainly crucial in the biblical worldview.

The Biblical data

I already mentioned that we do not have all the much clear and direct biblical material to draw from here. Some Christians have said that burning was a part of God’s judgment when dealing with sinners, and so we should stay away from that.

In Joshua 7 For example we read about the sin of Achan. Verse 25 tells us the fate of the guilty: “And Joshua said, ‘Why did you bring trouble on us? The Lord brings trouble on you today.’ And all Israel stoned him with stones. They burned them with fire and stoned them with stones.”

Some sins are so abhorrent that burning with fire is the punishment meted out. Sexual sin seems to predominate here. In Genesis 38 we read about Judah and Tamar. Verses 24-25 read: “About three months later Judah was told, ‘Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.’ And Judah said, ‘Bring her out, and let her be burned’.”

And in Leviticus 20:14 we read this: “If a man takes a woman and her mother also, it is depravity; he and they shall be burned with fire, that there may be no depravity among you.” But some other Old Testament passages could be seen as a being a bit more ambiguous. In Leviticus 21 we read about priestly holiness. The priest is not to go near dead bodies, thereby making himself unclean (v. 11). A possible case for cremation then? But a sinful daughter of a priest “shall be burned with fire” (v. 9).

Also consider 1 Samuel 31 where we read about the death of Saul. It says “valiant men” from the Israelite town of Jabesh-Gilead burned the bodies of Saul and his sons (vv. 11-13). Were they right to do so? Saul of course was a king of Israel, chosen by God, but he did go off the rails at the end of his reign.

Other rather general texts could be presented here, but the truth is we do not have a direct condemnation of cremation in the Bible. So the short answer to our question is this: burial has always been the traditional Christian way of doing things, based as it is on a high view of the body, and the blessed hope we have of the return of Christ and living forever in resurrection bodies.

I could finish here, but perhaps I can quote just one Christian leader on this. Some years ago Russell Moore penned a piece on why he is no fan of cremation. The entire article is worth looking at, but his closing paragraphs can be offered here:

I suppose I shouldn’t find the heat that comes from the cremation debate all that surprising. It is deeply personal, especially for those of us with loved ones resting now in urns or scattered beneath oak trees or embedded in man-made reefs off the coast. What bothers me as a Christian minister is not so much that some of us are cremated as that the rest of us don’t seem to care.

 

Like the culture around us, we tend to see death and burial as an individual matter. That’s why we make our own personal funeral plans, in the comfort of our living room chairs. And that is why we ask the kind of question we ask about this issue: “What difference does it make, as long as I am resurrected in the end?”

 

Recognizing that cremation is sub-Christian doesn’t mean castigating grieving families as sinners. It doesn’t mean refusing to eat at the dining room table with Aunt Flossie’s urn perched on the mantle overhead. It doesn’t mean labeling the pastor who blesses a cremation service as a priest of Molech.

 

It simply means beginning a conversation about what it means to grieve as Christians and what it means to hope as Christians. It means reminding Christians that the dead in the graveyards behind our churches are “us” too. It means hoping that our Christian burial plots preach the same gospel that our Christian pulpits do.

 

I wish my grandfather hadn’t been cremated. As I preached his funeral, I wished I could join with centuries of Christians in committing his body, intact, to the ground. I hated his cremation, but I didn’t hate it as others do, as those who have no hope. Instead, I thanked a faithful God for a great man’s life.

 

And then I paused in recognition, knowing that one day the wisdom of the embalmers and the power of the cremators will be put to shame by the Wisdom and Power of God in the eastern skies above us. And I expect it will be glorious to see what the voice of Jesus can do to a south Mississippi funeral home’s medium-price urn. https://www.touchstonemag.com/archives/article.php?id=20-01-024-v&readcode=&readtherest=true#therest

Whatever direction you end up heading in as to this matter, we need to extend grace to others, especially when they are in a time of grief and bereavement. Indeed, exactly 42 years ago today I married a wonderful Australian woman. For 41 years my wife and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. This year I celebrate it alone.

The last thing I need now (or six months ago when we buried her), would be a big Christian argument over these matters. Think and pray about it, and do what you sense God wants you to do on this.

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Speak, Even If Your Voices Shakes

Away with your lame excuses – we need to speak out:

If you are a Christian you are commanded to share the good news of the gospel. Obviously our words must be backed up by the way we live, but words MUST be used. Paul made this clear in Romans 10:14-15: “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!’”

So in one way or another, the Christian is called to speak. We of course speak about the good news of what Jesus Christ did for lost sinners by his death and resurrection. But there are so many other things we can and should be speaking up about as well.

Many of the hot potato issues of the day should be addressed by believers, and in the public square, whether something like abortion or sexual trafficking. As Proverbs 31:8-9 puts it, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.”

Sure, not everyone will be an evangelist speaking to thousands of people in a sporting stadium. Not everyone will write books and articles. Not everyone will set up a blog site. Not everyone will have radio and TV ministries. But we all can speak, even if in much more limited and humble ways.

You all have neighbours presumably. Well, start by speaking to them. And pray for them first. As I have shared before, in my twice daily dog walks, I try to pray for all the neighbours as I pass by their homes. Some of them I end up bumping into and having conversations with. Sometimes that can include sharing biblical truth.

Then there are of course family members, friends, and others that you are uniquely placed to speak to. Most of us to not have any connection to your family, to your friends, to your neighbours. So you have a unique mission field right there that none of us have. God expects you to speak.

Again, timing can be crucial, and hopefully you have prepared the way by prayer and intercession. Not every occasion may be ideal for sharing gospel truth. But if you are open to the possibility, if you have prayed, and if you have asked God to open some doors before you, then there can be many great opportunities to speak up.

I have also shared previously about how my personality is not exactly that of being a people person and loving to interact with others, including strangers. But I am slowly getting better in this regard. Indeed, God threw me into the deep end early on.

When I first arrived in Australia and got a job with the Australian Family Association, I received almost no instructions on what to do. The main thing the boss said was that I should try to get into the media a lot. That was it! So I began by writing letters to the editor, putting out press releases, and so on.

It did not take long before many folks in the media knew that I existed, and soon enough they were contacting me on a regular basis. Within a decade or so I had done thousands of interviews and media appearances. Every area was covered: newspaper, radio, television, and so on.

In many ways I became the go-to guy for all things family related, or on moral, social and cultural issues. The media loves controversy, so I was always the token conservative voice, often pitted against an array of leftist voices. So often I stood before a television camera to have something for the 6 o’clock news, or for some current affairs program.

I did heaps of debates, and I had so many appearances in the public arena. I say all this because as I mentioned, I am not exactly Mr Social Butterfly. I am a rather melancholic and misanthropic person, who actually dislikes controversy and the public spotlight. I much prefer to quietly sit at home with a cat on my lap and a book in my hand.

So I always say that God has a great sense of humour. He could have chosen someone who thrives in public and loves to be with others. He could have chosen someone who was photogenic and telegenic. He could have chosen a young articulate, attractive Australian female for the job.

Instead he chose me – an older, American male with no great camara appeal. That is how God so often works. As is often said, God does not call the qualified, but he qualifies the called. Given that there was little in me that the media would desire, I had to depend on God for any chance of success.

In the eyes of the world, I should have been the last person chosen for such a major media role over so many years. I broke all the rules of who you would want to be a media spokesperson. But of course God does not look at appearances, but looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).

He will use those who are willing to be used. He will use those who remain humble before him. He will use those who seek to be obedient. Those are our main qualifications to be Christians in general, and to speak truth in public in particular. Not that I am expert in any of those areas, but…

I am not saying there is not a place for, say, taking courses in public speaking, or for trying to brush up for your next media appearance, and so on. But your main qualification is the call of God. Your main qualification is that God is willing to use you, and there is a needy world out there that really does need to hear what you have to say.

So even if you think you are the last person who God would ever put in the public spotlight, or have a big role in the media, think again. God may well have someone like you in mind. If you think you are already fully qualified for the job, well, spiritually speaking you may not be! If you think you are not up to the task, you might be the very person God is looking for.

We of course have clear biblical examples of this. Just think of two of the most important spokesmen for God in the entire Bible. Both seemed to think they were not qualified for the job. Both may have had natural weaknesses or shortcomings, but God was able to supernaturally overcome and transcend these things as he used these men greatly.

You likely know who I refer to here. The first of course is Moses. Twice we have a biblical record of Moses protesting, saying he lacks the proper qualifications to be God’s spokesperson. And at least once we have God giving him a stern rebuke. The first passage is Exodus 4:10-17. It says this:

But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” Then the anger of the Lord was kindled against Moses and he said, “Is there not Aaron, your brother, the Levite? I know that he can speak well. Behold, he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth, and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do. He shall speak for you to the people, and he shall be your mouth, and you shall be as God to him. And take in your hand this staff, with which you shall do the signs.”

And in Exodus 6:10-13 we find this:

So the Lord said to Moses, “Go in, tell Pharaoh king of Egypt to let the people of Israel go out of his land.” But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, the people of Israel have not listened to me. How then shall Pharaoh listen to me, for I am of uncircumcised lips?” But the Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron and gave them a charge about the people of Israel and about Pharaoh king of Egypt: to bring the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt.

The other familiar character is Jeremiah the prophet. As Jeremiah 1:4-10 states:

Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me,

“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the Lord.”

Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me,

“Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,
to pluck up and to break down,
to destroy and to overthrow,
to build and to plant.”

Both these men tried to excuse themselves from speaking for God. But God would have none of it. Many of us may also want to make excuses and claim we are just not up to the task. Well, I have good news for you: NONE of us are up to the task. None of us are qualified. None of us are sufficient in and of ourselves.

But God, in order to bring glory to himself, chooses to use the unqualified, the amateur, the nobody. As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 1:26-31:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.  But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,  so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”

In my book that is very good news indeed. So go, and speak, even if your voice shakes.

[1905 words]

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On Being Childless

Yes children can be a handful, but…

This piece is as much about having children as not having them. And I need to begin by stating the obvious: Not all people want to have children. And some do want to have children but are unable to. So I am not picking on anyone here.

If you are quite content with childlessness, read no further if you prefer. Some of these folks who want no children believe that kids are a burden and a foil to their free-flowing and fun lifestyle. Yes they can be that, but they can also be so much more – they can be such an amazing blessing.

Like everything in a fallen world, there are pros and cons. I am now a widower, but I have three children who care and who help, so even though I am now living alone, they make things so much easier. Simply coming around for a visit, or bringing a meal, or helping to do some chores around the home is a great blessing.

But we all differ of course. I know of some folks who have no children and are aging – as we all do. How they will cope remains to be seen, but it could be quite hard on some of them. As we age, as when we are quite young, we are so very dependent on others.

I would think that if you are an only child, and you grow and age and remain childless, well, if nothing else, that particular branch of the family tree will come to an end. Some will not care if it does. But I think of lonely aging people with no kids and no family members. That has got to be tough for so many of them.

Do they just get dumped in an old folks home with only strangers to look after them in their final days? Sure, that sometimes happens to the elderly who DO have children. But presumably the offspring will regularly visit their parents while in such care.

Again, some folks say they quite prefer having no kids. That is up to them, and I judge them not for this. But whether you are a non-believer or a believer, there is something to all this that seems to mitigate against the ‘no-child’ mindset. For example, the evolutionist would say we are meant to reproduce ourselves to keep the species going. That is what our genes do, and are all about.

The Christian would say that children are a gift of God, and a way of reproducing a spiritual heritage. Either way of looking at it, children are a fundamental part of who we are as human beings. Of course the Christian recognises that while having children in a married home is the norm, God has also given some people the gift of singleness (see 1 Corinthians 7 for example).

I repeat: I fully realise that not everyone is called to be married and have children. And some who desperately want kids cannot have them for various reasons. But instead of this article being a lengthy essay on the pros and cons of having children, let me just use it as yet another excuse to highlight a few books I have been discussing a lot lately.

I refer to two important volumes edited by William Bennett: The Book of Virtues (Simon & Schuster, 1995); and The Moral Compass (Simon & Schuster, 1993). I have reviewed both books in recent articles:

https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/07/shaping-morality-through-story-telling/

https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/18/moral-education-and-story-telling/

Both books remind us that moral education and storytelling are intimately related. One of the chapters of The Moral Compass is on the issue of marriage and family. The chapter celebrates the many joys, blessings – and difficulties – that parents will face. I want to share a poem from it called “The Charge of the Night Brigade”:

A scurry of feet on the bedroom stair,

A twitter along the hall-

And this is the charge of the night brigade,

To capture me heart and all.

And there is the Captain, Sleepy Eyes,

And there is Lieutenant Dream,

While the only arms of love are theirs

As into my heart they stream.

 

A low, little laugh as they form in line

Robed in their slumber gowns-

No armor rude with its harsh intrude,

No helmets that clank and frown;

They come for the hug and the goodnight kiss,

And unto my heart they bring

The song of the bedtime troops of love,

With its old, ineffable ring.

 

I sigh as I think of the lonesome folk

In their fortresses alone,

Where never the children charge with their cheer

Where the bedtime song’s unknown;

Who sit in their childless realm aloof

Nor ever behold at all

The Sleepy Eyes and the Golden Dream

Come marching down through the hall.

 

Who never have felt to run their necks

Nor even upon their lips

The soft caress of a little arm,

Or a kiss with its sweet eclipse;

I do not know what I would do

Were the bedtime troops away,

And I almost dread the time to come

When they all march to the grown up fray.

 

In a single file, to a merry tune,

Whispering, wild with glee,

They turned the nob and opened the door

And rushed to the heart of me;

Retreat is vain, resist I won’t,

So on my lap they leap-

The troops of the night brigade that come

For the kiss of the tender sleep.

I was going to say that now that I am home alone, I no longer have that issue. But I stand corrected. My cat does her best to keep me awake each night as she sleeps with me, and my dog does her best to wake me early each morning when she wants to go out! So even childless adults can still struggle in this area.

But as I say, there are good bits and bad bits to everything, including having children. But most parents would never trade all of this (the easy as well as the difficult) for having no kids at all. The benefits are innumerable. And what good parenting does for children is inestimable.

With that in mind, let me share one more piece from the same volume and chapter. Many of my book-loving friends at least will appreciate this one. It is called “When Mother Reads Aloud.” It goes like this:

When Mother reads aloud, the past
Seems real as every day;
I hear the tramp of armies vast,
I see the spears and lances cast,
I join the thrilling fray;
Brave knights and ladies fair and proud
I meet when Mother reads aloud.

When Mother reads aloud, far lands
Seem very near and true;
I cross the deserts’ gleaming sands,
Or hunt the jungle’s prowling bands,
Or sail the ocean blue.
Far heights, whose peaks the cold mists shroud,
I scale, when Mother reads aloud.

When Mother reads aloud, I long
For noble deeds to do —
To help the right, redress the wrong;
It seems so easy to be strong,
So simple to be true.
Oh, thick and fast the visions crowd
My eyes, when Mother reads aloud.

Yep, this is but one of a million tasks a mother can perform – and fathers too. Indeed, my previous piece was all about this most noble of professions: motherhood and homemaking: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/20/the-most-noble-profession/  

But having offered a few more quotes from the fabulous Bill Bennett volumes, let me conclude this brief piece by featuring another one of my favourite authors. G. K. Chesterton, writing in The Superstition of Divorce put it this way:

From its first days in the forest this human group had to fight against wild monsters; and so it is now fighting against these wild machines. It only managed to survive then, and it will only manage to survive now, by a strong internal sanctity; a tacit oath or dedication deeper than that of the city or the tribe. But though this silent promise was always present, it took at a certain turning point of our history a special form which I shall try to sketch in the next chapter. That turning point was the creation of Christendom by the religion which created it. Nothing will destroy the sacred triangle; and even the Christian faith, the most amazing revolution that ever took place in the mind, served only in a sense to turn that triangle upside down. It held up a mystical mirror in which the order of the three things was reversed; and added a holy family of child, mother and father to the human family of father, mother and child.

[1430 words] 

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The Most Noble Profession

In praise of homemaking and motherhood:

All jobs, professions and callings are noble and vital if it is God who is behind it. If the Lord calls you to be a Prime Minister or a street sweeper, both careers are of great value if you do it faithfully as onto the Lord. In all we do, we should seek to glorify God. But I nonetheless want to single out one profession. And I begin with a quick story.

In my morning prayer walk with my dog I prayed, as usual, for the neighbours. It is hoped some will come to know the Lord over time. Some of them I have gotten to know a bit and have had chats with. But so many I still do not yet know, or know much about. But my wife would have known most their names and known so much more about them.

Of course when the children were younger she was a full-time homemaker, while I dutifully commuted off to work each day. But reflecting on that this morning, I had this thought: although what I was doing was part of what God had called me to do, and was therefore important work, in so many ways it did not compare with what she had done for so long.

In most families throughout so much of history, it was this way: the husband/father would head off to his job, while the wife/mother would stay home and do a million tasks, most important of which iwa raising the children. So while I did my daily work away from home, she would be there basically 24/7, doing countless tasks – many of them unbeknown to me – as well as capably raising three boys.

It is really only now that she is gone that I see how VERY much she had done, not just as a mother but as a homemaker. As I just told a friend yesterday over a cuppa, we must never take our spouse for granted. The fact that various neighbours showed up to her funeral demonstrates what an impact she had, not just in the home, but in the surrounding community.

So if I had to choose, I would without a moment’s hesitation say that what she had done as a mother and homemaker far outweighed what I had done as a worker – even though my work was involved in key things like pro-family, pro-faith and pro-life activism. The impact of her job as a loving mother will last for all eternity.

I sometimes wonder how much of an impact my work will have. And the longer she is gone, the more I miss her, and the more I see what an amazing woman, wife and mother she was. And I see that she had done so much more than I ever did. Indeed, I do not think I could have done the half of it.

Sure, to her – and most other mothers – it may have seemed like mundane, monotonous, and humdrum daily work. Mothers in the mist of another mountain of dirty diapers to wash and the like will likely not have a very lofty or very glamourous view of the work they are doing.

But it is all part of this wonderful profession and holy calling that we know as motherhood. I would not trade places with my wife for all the money (or books) in the world. What she did was just unbeatable, and I would not have gone the distance had I tried to do what she did.

With this in mind, let me run with an old story. I recently reviewed a terrific volume edited by William Bennett called The Book of Virtues. It contains hundreds of stories, poems and essays celebrating the moral virtues. See my review here: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/07/shaping-morality-through-story-telling/

And see my review of his follow-up volume, The Moral Compass, which offers more of the same: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/18/moral-education-and-story-telling/

In the “Work” section of the first book, Bennett says this about one story: “This old Scandinavian tale teaches us to respect others’ hard work.” It is called, “The Husband Who Was to Mind the House”. It goes like this:

Image of The Book of Virtues: 30th Anniversary Edition
The Book of Virtues: 30th Anniversary Edition by Bennett, William J. (Author), Glover Bennett, Elayne (Author) Amazon logo

Once upon a time there was a man so surely and cross, he never thought his wife did anything right around the house. One evening, during hay-making time, he came home complaining that dinner wasn’t on the table, the baby was crying, and the cow had not been put in the barn.

 

“I work and I work all day,” he growled, “and you get to stay home and mind the house. I wish I had it so easy. I could get dinner ready on time, I’ll tell you that.

 

“Dear love, don’t be so angry,” said his wife. “Tomorrow let’s change our work. I’ll go out with the mowers and cut the hay, and you stay home and mind the house at house.”

 

The husband thought that would do very well. “I could use a day off,” he said. “I’ll do all your chores in an hour or two, and sleep the afternoon away.”

 

So early next morning the wife put a scythe over her shoulder and trudged out to the hayfield with the mowers. The husband stayed behind to do all the work at home.

 

First of all, he washed some clothes, and then he began to churn the butter. But after he had churned a while, he remembered he needed to hang the clothes up to dry. He went out to the yard, and had just finished hanging his shirts on the line when he saw the pig run into the kitchen.

 

So off he dashed to the kitchen to look after the pig, lest it should upset the churn. But as soon as he got through the door, he saw the pig had already knocked the churn over. There it was, grunting and rooting in the cream, which was running all over the floor. The man became so wild with rage, he quite forgot about his shirts on the line, and ran at the pig as hard as he could.

 

He caught it, too, but it was so slippery from all the butter, it shot out of his arms and right through the door. The man raced into the yard, bound to catch that pig no matter what, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his goat. It was standing right beneath the clothesline, chewing and chomping at every last shirt. So the man ran off the goat, and locked up the pig, and took what was left of his shirts off the line.

 

Then he went into the dairy and found enough cream to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for butter they must have at dinner. When he had churned a bit, he remembered that their cow was still shut up in the barn, and had not had a mouthful to eat or a drop to drink all morning, though the sun was high.

 

He thought it was too far to take her down to the meadow, so he decided to put her on top of the house, for the roof, you must know, was thatched with grass. The house lay next to a steep hill, and he thought if he lay a wide plank from the side of the hill to the roof, he’d easily get the cow up.

 

But still he couldn’t leave the churn, for here was the little baby crawling about on the floor. “If I leave it,” he thought, “the child is sure to upset it.”

 

So he put the churn on his back and went out with it. Then he thought he’d better water the cow before he put her on the roof, and he got a bucket to draw water out of the well. But as he stooped down at the brink of the well, the cream ran out of the churn, over his shoulders, down his back, and into the well!

 

Now it was near dinnertime, and he didn’t even have any butter yet. So as soon as he put the cow on the roof, he thought he’d best boil the porridge. He filled the pot with water, and hung it over the fire.

 

When he had done that, he thought the cow might fall off the roof and break her neck. So he climbed onto the house to tie her up. He tied one end of the rope around the cow’s neck, and the other he slipped down the chimney. Then he went back inside and tied it around his own waist. He had to make haste, for the water now began to boil in the pot, and he still had to grind the oatmeal.

 

So he began to grind away. But while he was hard at it, down fell the cow off the housetop after all, and as she fell she dragged the poor man up the chimney by the rope! There he stuck fast. And as for the cow, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor up.

 

Meanwhile the wife, who was out in the field, waited and waited for her husband to call her home to dinner. At last she thought she’d waited enough and went home.

 

When she got there and saw the cow hanging in such an ugly place, she ran up and cut the rope with her scythe. But as soon as she did, down came her husband out of the chimney! So when she went inside the kitchen, she found him standing on his head in the porridge pot

 

“Welcome back,” he said, after she had fished him out. “I have something to say to you.”

 

So he said he was sorry, and gave her a kiss, and never complained again.

Never underestimate your wife or take her for granted! Mothers and homemakers do far more than we will ever imagine. God bless them richly!

[1659 words]

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Moral Education and Story Telling

Another must read-volume by Bennett:

I am always interested in alerting people to good books. One way to do this is through book reviews, of which there are now 725 on this site. And these reviews are most often of new books that I want to let people know about. However, sometimes various older works that might be regarded as modern classics also deserve a mention.

This article is another case in point. A few weeks ago I wrote about a book that appeared three decades ago: The Book of Virtues by William Bennett (Simon and Schuster, 1993). A number of people favourable responded to that piece. It is found here: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2024/01/07/shaping-morality-through-story-telling/

In it I mentioned that Bennett had produced a companion volume two years later: The Moral Compass: Stories for a Life’s Journey (Simon & Schuster, 1995). In many ways it picks up on where the previous volume left off, and it very much follows the same format.

While it again covers the same key virtues (Responsibility, Courage, Perseverance, Honesty, Loyalty, Faith, and the like), it is arranged in terms of the stages of life, ranging from new life to old age. All up he has seven chapters dealing with these various stages.

The book again features hundreds of stories, poems and essays – some well-known, some not so much. It again features biblical and non-biblical material, Christian and non-Christian material. Again, each chapter is arranged from the easier to the harder material. And again, both children and parents will benefit greatly from all the great reading found therein.

Image of The Moral Compass: Stories for a Life's Journey
The Moral Compass: Stories for a Life’s Journey by Bennett, William J. (Author) Amazon logo

One valuable aspect of the book – as with the previous volume – is not just the introduction to the book, but Bennett’s introduction to each chapter. In his general introduction he writes:

The basic assumption underlying this volume is that much of life is a moral and spiritual journey and that we undertake it, at least in large part, to find our way morally and spiritually. Thus it makes no sense to send young people forth on such an endeavor having offered them only some timid, vacillating opinions or options about conduct in the hope that in the course of their wanderings, they will stumble onto some more definite personal preferences which will become their “values.” We must give our children better equipment than that. We must raise them as moral and spiritual beings by offering them unequivocal, reliable standards of right and wrong, noble and base, just and unjust….

 

Of course, sound character education cannot come solely through hearing and reading stories, no matter how great they are. The training of the heart and the mind toward the good involves much more. (We would do well to remember that the Greek word charakter means “enduring marks,” traits that can be formed in a person by an almost infinite number of influences.) Moral education must involve following rules of good behavior. It must involve developing good habits, which come only through repeated practice. And character training must provide example by placing children in the company of responsible adults who show an allegiance to good character, who demonstrate the clear difference between right and wrong in their own everyday habits.

 

Nevertheless, the books and stories we share with our children can be important moral influences. They can be invaluable allies for parents and teachers; as President Charles W. Eliot of Harvard observed, “In the campaign for character, no auxiliaries are to be refused.” Literature can be a crucial part of a home, school, community, or culture’s ethos—another ancient Greek term meaning the distinguishing character or guiding beliefs, the habits of the denizens. As every parent and teacher knows, children love stories. Even in an age of computer games and electronic toys, there is still resonant power in the phrase “Once upon a time…” And so what we choose to read to our children matters a great deal. Legends, folktales, sacred stories, biographies, and poems can introduce the youngest children to the virtues; they can clarify notions of right and wrong for young people; and they can serve as powerful reminders of mankind’s best ideals all the way through adulthood. More than one great man or woman at a critical moment has recalled a simple fable, a familiar verse, a childhood hero.

In the intro to his first chapter, “Home and Hearth,” he says this in part:

All children need bread and shelter. But a true home, of course, is much more than that. Children also need love and order and, because they are not born knowing the difference between right and wrong, a place where they can begin to develop a moral sense. The transmission of virtues is one important reason for a home, and attention to the virtues is one of the important ties that bind a family together. “It is the peculiarity of man, in comparison with the rest of the animal world,” Aristotle wrote, “that he alone possesses a perception of good and evil, of the just and the unjust, and of other similar qualities; and it is association in these things which makes a family.”

 

And so home is the place where we receive our first instruction in the virtues. It is our first moral training ground, the place where we can come to know right from wrong through the nurturing and protective care of those who love us more than anyone else….

The chapter includes items such as the following: “Hush, Little Baby,” “The Three Billy Goats Gruff,” “The Legend of the Christ Child,” “Joseph and His Brothers,” “The Little Girl Who Dared,” The Drover’s Wife” by Henry Lawson, and “Prayer For Home and Family” by Robert Lewis Stevenson.  

Let me highlight just one other section: “Mothers and Father, Husbands and Wives.” As to marriage, he says this in the introduction to this chapter:

There are many obligations in life, but none more important than the ones we accept when we become husbands and wives, mothers and fathers. In this chapter we find stories illustrating the virtues involved in those parts of life’s journey.

 

In recent history, marriage has devolved from being a sacrament to a contract to a convention to, finally, a convenience. (I am told there is a modern wedding vow that states not “as long as we both shall live,” but rather “as long as we both shall love.”) Of course, some marriages simply will not work. But the enormous number of separations and divorces today suggests that we no longer believe what we say during the ceremony: that marriage is a serious, lifelong commitment made “in the presence of God,” a commitment to give to each other as long as both shall live.

 

As Aristotle long ago pointed out, marriage is in fact a relationship based in no small part on virtues. The most basic of these is responsibility, for marriage is, after all, an arrangement held together by mutual dependence and reciprocal obligations. But successful marriages are about more than fulfilling the conditions of a contract. In good marriages, men and women seek to improve themselves for the sake of their loved one. They offer and draw moral strength, day in and day out, by sharing compassion, courage, self-discipline, and a host of other virtues. Thus the whole of the union becomes stronger and more wonderful than the sum of the parts. “What greater thing is there for human souls,” asked George Eliot, “than to feel that they are joined for life—to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?” The stories in this chapter inspire us in all of these endeavors.

Selections featured here include: “The Owl and the Pussy Cat” by Edward Lear, “The Three Wishes,” “The Roses of Saint Elizabeth,” “An Excellent Wife” [Proverbs 31], “When Mother Reads Aloud,” “I Know of a Lovely Garden” by Martin Luther, “Monica, Mother of Augustine,” and “The Greatest of These is Love” [1 Corinthians 13].

If I may, let me share just one poem from this chapter: “The Baby” by George MacDonald:

Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of the everywhere into here.

Where did you get those eyes so blue?
Out of the sky as I came through.

What makes the light in them sparkle and spin?
Some of the starry twinkles left in.

Where did you get that little tear?
I found it waiting when I got here.

What makes your forehead so smooth and high?
A soft hand stroked it as I went by.

What makes your cheek like a warm white rose?
I saw something better than any one knows.

Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss?
Three angels gave me at once a kiss.

Where did you get this pearly ear?
God spoke, and it came out to hear.

Where did you get those arms and hands?
Love made itself into bonds and bands.

Feet, whence did you come, you darling things?
From the same box as the cherubs’ wings.

How did they all just come to be you?
God thought about me, and so I grew.

But how did you come to us, you dear?
God thought about you, and so I am here.

If you loved The Book of Virtues, you will love The Moral Compass. If you have neither, it is not too late to remedy this major flaw. As you buy for yourself these two volumes, you can always get a second set and give them to someone you love and care for. Thanks again Bill Bennett.

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Loneliness, Introversion, Personality Types, and God

Sometimes we need to accept ourselves as God made us:

One truth that cannot be denied is that God has made us all different. No two human beings are fully alike – not even identical twins. While we all do have much in common with one another, we are still fully unique as individuals, certainly in areas such as our personalities, character traits, preferences, temperaments, and so on.

So while believers should seek to strive for unity in the Body of Christ, this is not to come at the expense of our diversity – of our God given uniqueness and differences. There are no cookie-cutter people, and there are no cookie-cutter Christians.

And it is good to celebrate our differences. This can even be the case with big ticket items. Some folks are clearly introverts while others are clearly extroverts. While some of us introverts can learn to become more talkative and sociable, we need not deny who we are.

The truth is, I have never been a real people person. I am usually fairly content to do stuff alone, at least much of my work and my ministry. In that sense I am self-directed, and I do not a team of others with me to help me perform my God-given tasks. I am fine as is, thanks.

However, God does not intend for any of us be fully alone. He made us for community, and he made us to need and depend on one another. But still, in all that, there is a place for diversity and difference. Some folks need others and want to be around others more than some of us do.

The other day I posted this on the social media:

I understand that Melbourne is, or will soon be, the Australian city with the biggest population. Oddly however, in my twice daily brief walk with Jilly dog, I often will not meet a single soul. Where is everybody? I guess they are all holed up in their homes, or offices, or businesses, or shops. As an old single guy, I might be getting lonely, but I sometimes think it would be nice to chat with a real human being in the flesh now and then!

Not too long thereafter I also posted this:

There are different kinds of loneliness, just as there are different kinds of people. Some people will still be quite lonely even with a large group of people, including in a church. And yes, steps can be taken to deal with this, but one size does not fit all. Even being in a small group (I have been in many over the years) is not always the answer. And I have known of some men’s groups where sports and cars are the main focus of discussion! Um, that is not for me!

Both posts generated a fair amount of talk and discussion. As regards the first one, I was really not complaining so much about being alone. I was mostly making an observation. But yes, without my wife of 41 ½ years, things can become a bit lonely at times. And mind you, if I did not have a dog to walk, I suppose I would be holed up in my home even more than I am now!

So in some respects it is up to me if I want to have a bit more of a social life. There is a proverb that comes to mind here: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly” (Proverbs 18:24, KJV). If we want friends, but are having trouble making them, we need to start being a bit more friendly.

As to my second post, it in part was in response to those who replied by saying I should just get myself into church life. Well, of course for almost all my Christian life I have been actively a part of various churches. But two years of covid and a year and a half of her cancer pretty much curtailed all that. So I may need to get back into things here.

And regarding my remark about certain men’s groups, some Christians will say things like this: ‘Well Bill, you should stay in that group and steer it back into a much more godward direction.’ Yes, IF that is what God wants me do specifically do, then it is a goer. But it may just as likely that he might want me out, so I do not spiritually starve while trying to be the hero there.

(Let me digress here a bit: many believers have said they are not always keen about small groups, or even sometimes about church itself! There are many reasons for this, but perhaps this explains why this older article has been seen, liked, shared and commented on more than any other of my pieces: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2014/12/26/on-leaving-church/ )

But as mentioned, some of these issues come down to personality types and the like. Many Christians were quite interested in a 1966 book by Tim LaHaye called Spirit-Controlled Temperament (1966). In it he discussed the four main temperament types: melancholic, choleric, sanguine, and phlegmatic.

He followed that up with Transforming Your Temperament (1971). In it and other books he sought to show how on the one hand, our temperaments are part of who we are, but on the other hand, God can help work on them, removing some weaknesses or strengthening other areas, etc. Many believers found these volumes to be quite helpful, especially in terms of where a believer might best fit in in terms of church work, ministry, or missions.

And various personality assessment tests over the years have been used as well, such as the Myers-Briggs test. Many churches have used these over the years, and there can be a place for all of them. But we always must realise that God is in the business of changing lives, so we cannot slavishly say ‘This is my temperament and God made me this way, so I cannot change.’

We need to get the balance right in terms of accepting ourselves for how God made us, but also in being willing with God’s help to make some changes in some areas where it is clear that change is needed. For a misanthrope and melancholic like myself, that does NOT mean I need to become Joe Extrovert, the life of the party – a gregarious social butterfly.But it has meant that I have had to learn how to be more sociable, to be more people-orientated, and to try not to be so reluctant to be around others and in large gatherings at times. Having a few role models around me in this regard has helped as well.

Image of The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You
The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You by Holley Gerth (Author) Amazon logo

With all this in mind, some of you might quite like a recent volume penned by Christian counsellor and journalist Holley Gerth: The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You (Revell, 2020). It concludes by saying, “Let’s be who we are”. Yes, there are different temperaments and character traits, and yes God can change these to various degrees, but sometimes we need to recognise who God made us to be.

She looks at all this in some detail. She even cites research showing how who we are in terms of extroversion or introversion may be hardwired into our brains:

Approximately two-thirds of the energy our brains use goes to electrical impulses that help neurons communicate. Neurotransmitters play a role in that process. The dopamine-based reward network, which causes people to “become more talkative, alert to their surroundings, and motivated to take risks and explore the environment” is more active in extroverts.

 

As a quick review: Dopamine energizes extroverts but overwhelms introverts. Acetylcholine, another feel-good brain chemical, releases when we turn inward or engage in quieter activities. While introverts can be adventurous and fun-loving, lower-energy activities make us feel best. Extroverts may perceive this as “tired,” but it’s just a different way of enjoying life. (p. 145)

So to expect that we can just completely change our personality and temperament by a snap of the fingers or some prayer service may not be very wise – just as it is unwise to use who we are as an excuse to not make necessary adjustments and changes in our personality and social relationships.

As to the assessment tests I mentioned above, she says this: “Personality tests give us starting places for understanding ourselves and each other, but they never get the final say.” (p. 38) Learning about who we are is a very important first step, but that does not mean we are locked into where we are at. Some changes can be made with God’s help.

Let me share a quote about one well-known person that others like myself might find encouraging:

With a net worth of 77 billion dollars, introvert Warren Buffett is one of the world’s most successful investors. But you’d never know from his calendar. Buffett’s business partner Charlie Munger says, “You look at his schedule sometimes and there’s a haircut. Tuesday, haircut day. That’s what created one of the world’s most successful business records in history. He has a lot of time to think.”

 

For his entire career, Buffett spent, by his own estimation, 80 percent of his time thinking and reading. In a world that tells us only “busy people” make progress, Buffett’s reflection-based approach to life and business is an act of rebellion. But it’s one that has paid off. (p. 157)

The truth is, it is OK to be an introvert. We can be OK with who we are because God was OK with making us who we are. Citing the story of Elijah (in 1 Kings 19), she says this: “What if we, as introverts, are created to be living echoes of the gentle whisper of God? What if that’s why the world needs us to be who we are? What if that’s our powerful purpose?” (p. 170)

If there is something to all this, then that can be a relief for many of us who have grown tired of trying to measure up to all the bright, bubbly, loud, people-person types who are out there and seem to get so much attention – even in the Christian world. Maybe we can just be who God made us to be, and not apologise for it nor worry about it.

Gerth believes we must learn to start living as we were created to be. Again, that does not mean never seeking much needed-growth and development as people, and as Christians. But it does mean we can start to be comfortable in our own skins, and not worry about comparing ourselves with others. To use the words of Gandalf to Frodo, “And that may be an encouraging thought.”

Brief afterword

Let me mention just one downside to the book: Gerth does spend a few pages on the Enneagram (pp. 40-43), without pointing out any concerns with it. I have written about this before, demonstrating that it is an occultic tool and is really is not something Christians should get themselves involved in: https://billmuehlenberg.com/2022/01/10/beware-the-enneagram/

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